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JUST THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHIN BUT THE TRUTH!!

Truisms
* If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.
* Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
* Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than
going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
* Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
* If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve
never tried before.
* My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
* Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
serious.
* It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
* For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
program.
* If you look like your passport picture, you probably need
the trip.
* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
* A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so
good.
* Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
* Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
* No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
* A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of
the waist change places.
* Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
* Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three
weeks before you need it.
* There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
* Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize
a mistake when you make it again.
* By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
* Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
* Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the
real world.
* Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall
never cease to be amused.
Kahn2015-10-24T13:22:07-05:00
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